Things I'll never say
by TaraneePheonix
Summary: Songfic. Pretty self explanatory. Not sure about the genres


Things I'll never say

**Pretty self explanatory songfic-ne?**

**I don't own Negima or the song**

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Nodoka stared at the floor her red cheeks hidden by her long fringe. She fiddled with the hem of her school short. She'd never felt this way about anyone and in the three years she'd known him the feeling had only grown. She'd told him before but she wanted him to know how she felt now but the words seemed to stick in her throat

_I'm talking out my hair  
I'm pulling at my clothes  
I'm trying to keep my cool I know it shows  
I'm staring at my feet  
My checks are turning red  
I'm searching for the words inside my head _

He was watching her intently, waiting for her to speak, it wasn't a harsh glare but she squirmed under it, she needed to say something. She tried to remember everything her friends had told her about confidence but her mind was coming up blank.

_Cause I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
Cause I know you're worth it  
You're worth it  
Yeah _

She wanted to tell him, but what if he rejected her? She couldn't stand it. Everything seemed to be shooting by and the minute she had been there seemed like the longest in her life. She could feel her heart beating against her ribcage.

_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down  
On one knee  
Marry me today  
Yes, I'm wishing my life away  
__With these things I'll never say _

She opened her mouth to speak but still nothing came out. She shuffled her feet nervously taking a great interest in the floor below her. She blinked and dared a glance up, he was smiling at her encouragingly. She wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole, anything to get her out of this situation.

_It don't do me any good  
It's just a waste of time  
What use is it to you  
What's on my mind  
If ain't coming out  
We're not going anywhere  
So why can't I just tell you that I care _

"I-" She started before stopping herself, she needed the right way to say it. The sentence that had been forming in her mouth faded. She closed her eyes again, dropping her gaze back to the floor and biting back the tears that were threatening to fall.

_Cause I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
Cause I know you're worth it  
You're worth it  
Yeah _

If there was one thing she had learnt it was that even in a world of magic wishing would get you no-where. She opened her eyes again and looked back up at him, his smile had faded and he looked concerned, he placed a comforting hand on her arm.

_If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down  
On one knee  
Marry me today  
Yes, I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say _

"N-N-Negi-S-Sensei…I-I-I-" She stuttered. The butterflies in her stomach must have been doing back flips, she felt like she was about to throw up and the way her heart was pounding was making it difficult for her to catch her breath.

_What's wrong with my tongue  
These words keep slipping away  
I stutter, I stumble  
Like I've got nothing to say _

It felt like she'd just run a marathon. The room was swimming in front of her in a mixture of tears and trying not to faint. She sniffed audibly trying to force the tears back. "Nodoka-san…what is it?" He asked with concern in his voice

_Cause I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
Cause I know you're worth it  
You're worth it  
Yeah _

That was the last straw, Nodoka shook her head and fled from the room finally allowing the tears to flow down her cheeks. This was just something she couldn't do, she could fight dragons and demons but when it came down to it, saying those three little words was worse than any of it.

_Yes I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say  
If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I wanna blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down  
On one knee  
Marry me today  
Yes, I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say _

She wiped her eyes as she ran for the dorms sobbing softly. She ran into her dorm room and shut and locked the door behind her collapsing backwards onto it, drawing her knees up and sobbing into them.

_These things I'll never say_


End file.
